I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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