I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
