just tell him i said nine months
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
