fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
