Swine flu. Run for my life!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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