So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
