Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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