I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
