What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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