Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize