Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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