I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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