He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Congratulations! We have a period
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