Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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