Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
