he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
