For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
