yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
