i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize