i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
