does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm gonna fight the coyote
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
