I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize