Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize