I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
how does that bad decision feel?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
