i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
