I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
