Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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