We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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