we're blogging at a bar
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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