your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
