it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
