so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
