I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Randomize