**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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