I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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