I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
