I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
