I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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