that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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