she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize