Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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