Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
