Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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