We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
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