does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
