fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
