no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
