so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
