I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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