don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
