and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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