Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
