I'm going to jail i love you
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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