You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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