he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
