If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
