were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
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