i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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