so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
