2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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