i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
accomplished twins. life is a go
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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