Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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