dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
