the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
