I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
