Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
