You're so nebulous sometimes
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
