and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
