Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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