i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
