Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
