She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
