I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
