who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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