Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
